It was a cold night . I was sitting at the cold bench of the airport awaiting my fate . “ Will they let me go?” I asked this question of myself again and again. There was some irregular movement around me. I could not recognize my surroundings as to where this airport was located. But many were from the sub continent of South Asia around me. They promised me that they will let me go. I sat alone weakened without any energy to move . My mind thinking of my two daughters. I was thinking of them continuously as to what they would do without me or would be doing at that point. I kept on begging those around me and was assured repeatedly. The wait was killing.
I could not move at all. Frozen I felt. Than the two of the old people who brought me to this point came sitting next to me on each side. Assured me again that they are trying to get me out. I became hysterical begging them telling them that they may hold me physically but they can’t hold back my soul. The Old man told me to be patient and reminded me that he is in control and that if I would not stop . He will change his mind. The lady who for some reason always remained quiet for some reason looked back toward me in some kindness.
Then I saw this man came rushing towards the old man and they both went inside. I remember wrapped in a white piece of cloth . Shivering I asked the lady to sit close . The old lady started running her kind fingers through my hair reminding me that soon it would be all over and I must not lose my patience. I tried to stand up but couldn’t . It looked like that someone has drained all my energy out . Had to be after the long journey I was about to conclude in one form or another.
The Old man came back and told me that there is a delay . The plane which is supposed to take me back awaits clearance from some authorities. They are requesting their leadership to let me go . He looked very upset somehow. But again assured me that as soon as it happens I would be on my way. I became hysterical. I could not breath. I went into a bow and requested to let me go. There are some waiting for me. My daughters, my family , my people and hopefully more . “ Please let me go!” I kept crying. The old man walked away looking agitated with my ever repeating line of requests. Something told me that there is something wrong or would go wrong. I may never go back. I started recalling the good moments I had with my two daughters, my wife, my dad , my family, my friends and many more. I just kept praying that this is just a long long nightmare and hoped that it ended soon. But it just kept on going without stop. I was clearly tired and exhausted with the twist of fate I was going through.
Then suddenly, there came an officer in white . He looked Arabic. Long white robe he was in surrounded by a few. He tells me that sorry that my request has been refused. I may need to stay longer. I could not bear it anymore. This was it for me. I started crying loudly and for the first time through this ordeal asked God to let me die. For me it’s over. There was no point living any more. I kept on losing more energy with every passing moment . The old lady sat next to me to try to console me. The old man who probably could not see me cry anymore. He came and sat next to me and hugged me. “ My son everything would be alright.” He could have called me that as he was supposed to be my grandfather or of his age. I told him that my heart is in pain. I cannot breath anymore. He sat next to me. He put his old fragile hand on my heart and told me that all would be ok. The old lady like a mother was caressing me to calm me down . But I could not stop.
The old man’s fragile hand was straight on top my heart . I started to accept the fact that it’s all over. Suddenly I started the old man’s hand becoming colder. The old lady was not sitting there anymore. The hand became harder. It became of stone. The old man sat there smiling at me with his hand and he himself turned into stone. I remember him telling me that I would be only going back over his dead body. The old man was a very powerful fellow. I saw his power over the last few weeks. How everyone around him human or otherwise obeyed him ? I felt that all this delay or now refusal of this vow he took? He said to me that I am his lineage and will not let me go back to hell. But I was insistent.
The old man sat next to me smiling in stone cold. Those around came to remove his hand which was now getting heavy on my chest. I still could not move. Frozen! Some people came to remove his hand with honor. But then he just evaporated in thin air. I could not believe ; both the old man and the woman were now gone. Was my ordeal over ?
They picked me up and placed on a cold white slab . It was very cold that night. They took off the white cloth that covered me. Then they started washing me . They cleaned me up. I felt very cold. Very cold! But still could not move. I could see them and hear them but could not move and speak. Once I was washed they started to put some ointment on me. There was a man cleaning me talking to me telling me that now I can go home. This is the only way. This was what the old man wished.
After I was washed and embalmed . They wrapped me in a white cloth and put me in a wooden box. They said just don’t move. I was confused whether I was dead or alive. I could see the many people around me. None of them I could recognize though. They were chatting telling each other that I have to be sent back to Pakistan . They were awaiting some final inspection. I laid there in the cold wooden box smelling the ointment put on me . Awaiting the next steps.
The same Arab in the long white robe came and stared at me for a while. Then started to check me and then wrote something down. He looked at me and smiled . Came closer to my ear and whispered “ Son you are going home” . Kissed me on my cheek. Put that white cloth on my face and told me that when you will wake up. You will be in Pakistan. Of course I wanted to cry. I wanted to laugh like I used to do during my normal life. For those who would know me would know that I would laugh my heart out. But I couldn’t . I didn’t make a move out of fear . Fearing my single movement may falter the plan.
The Arab declared that this man is “ Dead” . He can be shifted back to Pakistan on the awaiting PIA flight. “ Close the box”. The box closed over me. I could hear the nails being hammered in. I lied still. I acted Dead or was I really dead?
This is the very last thing I recall after my almost two month induced coma as I woke up to life . Who was that old man , old woman and that Arab ? How did I reach here ? What it all meant ? This is a true story as I laid dead or some say in coma. This is the story of me that is Danish Kazi who some say came back from death. This is the last thing I remember. Being sent back to Pakistan in a wooden coffin in a PIA flight. Yes, that is the last thing I recall before I woke up to life.
This book which I am putting together will tell you the whole story as I laid fighting death unaware of my condition for those few weeks or months. I was dreaming a night mare as my family lived the nightmare awake. This would tell you that how I presumably fought death and came back.
How I stood again ? How breath again ? How I lived again ? The reason I write this is to give a message to all those out there “ Never give up” . Come what may. Further, as I woke up I believed that I have been sent back for a reason and death has already kissed me on my cheek before I woke up. I am sure you would understand what is life about and what is living about.
I am not any big man. Not a rich man . Not a hero. But I have promised to Allah that I would not let him down as he sent me back. This book would answer why I came back ? Why I came back to Pakistan with all the dangers around me? My ideological beliefs . My political beliefs. My motivations to stand back and start living. Hope you would all learn to live for the best with a purpose.